I'm displeased with this.
But I'm tired of fighting with it and trying to turn it into something decent.
So.
Forgive the shittiness. Next one will be better.
Title: "Love" (i can't think of titles.)
Category: Doctor Who
Rating: G
Genre: Romance/Angst? I dunnoes.
Words: 413
Pairing(s): 10th Doctor/Rose 10th Doctor/Martha
Summary: Martha wonders if there was a change that he ever loved her back.
Rating: G
Genre: Romance/Angst? I dunnoes.
Words: 413
Pairing(s): 10th Doctor/Rose 10th Doctor/Martha
Summary: Martha wonders if there was a change that he ever loved her back.
Even weeks and months and years later, Martha looks back and wonders if there was a chance that he loved her.
She learned a lot in her time with the Doctor, in the months taking care of him while he was John Smith, in the year she spent alone wandering the world, and all the moments in between. One of the things she learned was not to lie to herself. She knows the answer in her heart, and fantasizing changes nothing, so she tries not to think about it that much.
It wasn't even that he hadn't loved her, because he had, but not the way she wanted. He loved her in the same way he loved everyone, every human and alien and the entire universe. Everything he did was out of compassion for every creature he met - even the most horrible of them. She had been angry at him for a long time, after he said those three beautiful, terrible words to the defeated Master - 'I forgive you.' She still isn’t sure how he could say it and mean it.
The Doctor is just too good, something Martha doesn’t quite know how to be.
Still, she tries to imagine what it would have been like had he even noticed her (just because she's scared that if she doesn't think about him from time to time, she'll forget) and finds that she can't. Sometimes it had felt like he was finally taking notice, but every time he looked at her it was like he expected to see someone else standing there. Someone beautiful, blond, someone who Martha knew he had loved in a way completely different to the way he cared for the rest of the universe. He had spoken of her, though rarely. He forgot Martha altogether, and his voice went so soft that she had to strain to hear the stories he told. Never anything special, just describing the tiny everyday things that made her so amazing in his eyes. For a second, he was like an open book, one she was afraid to read. Then he would stop talking, and become a mystery again.
Rose Tyler. Martha had hated the girl at first, though she'd never known her, but after a while she just couldn't hate anyone who made the Doctor less lonely even for a little while. Had Rose loved the Doctor as much as he did her?
She learned a lot in her time with the Doctor, in the months taking care of him while he was John Smith, in the year she spent alone wandering the world, and all the moments in between. One of the things she learned was not to lie to herself. She knows the answer in her heart, and fantasizing changes nothing, so she tries not to think about it that much.
It wasn't even that he hadn't loved her, because he had, but not the way she wanted. He loved her in the same way he loved everyone, every human and alien and the entire universe. Everything he did was out of compassion for every creature he met - even the most horrible of them. She had been angry at him for a long time, after he said those three beautiful, terrible words to the defeated Master - 'I forgive you.' She still isn’t sure how he could say it and mean it.
The Doctor is just too good, something Martha doesn’t quite know how to be.
Still, she tries to imagine what it would have been like had he even noticed her (just because she's scared that if she doesn't think about him from time to time, she'll forget) and finds that she can't. Sometimes it had felt like he was finally taking notice, but every time he looked at her it was like he expected to see someone else standing there. Someone beautiful, blond, someone who Martha knew he had loved in a way completely different to the way he cared for the rest of the universe. He had spoken of her, though rarely. He forgot Martha altogether, and his voice went so soft that she had to strain to hear the stories he told. Never anything special, just describing the tiny everyday things that made her so amazing in his eyes. For a second, he was like an open book, one she was afraid to read. Then he would stop talking, and become a mystery again.
Rose Tyler. Martha had hated the girl at first, though she'd never known her, but after a while she just couldn't hate anyone who made the Doctor less lonely even for a little while. Had Rose loved the Doctor as much as he did her?
She has a husband now, and she loves him, she really does. Whether the Doctor had loved Rose, or Martha, or someone else long ago, it meant nothing to her now.
Still, she can't help but wonder.
Still, she can't help but wonder.
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gjdesioghfdjskghdfshfdsfhl. :|
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